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mxlovely

Being Grateful

I'm experiencing a pretty low moment in my life right now, so maybe I should do some journalling...

Here is a list of the crapy things going on in my life:

  • 1st Major Surgery was postponed last week.

  • The day before that I had a car accident.  Now I'm without a car.

  • I keep having trouble with my gender marker changes in institutions, because my gender marker is now X.

  • I'm unemployed and can't committ to a job for at least the next 5 months, due to having 2 major surgeries that I need to heal from.

  • Now that my gender marker is X, I don't have the right to marry my fiance in my country...

  • Facebook thinks I'm committing identity fraud, because my surname is legally "Lovely," and that sounds too much like a made up name... So no admining (from me) of our support group and Facebook Page (for Redefining Androgyny).

  • I am being forced to sit down and read a book or something "normal" like that.  It's driving me insane, but teaching me a lot. (I am learning to trust the process and put myself in God's hands...again...)

I have decided not to get stressed about this, which was a difficult decision to make, while my panic attacks started to creep in...  :(  So I bought some hardcore herbs to ward off depression and anxiety, so I can do what it is that God wants me to do.  Stand still and know that she is God.  She's very good at getting my attention.

Besides, it could always be worse.   I still have a roof over my head, we can afford basic nutrition and health products.  We have warm beds to sleep in and I have a loving and supportive family around me.  Not everyone has that.

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